Chapter 24
��� She slowly got up and walked out, barely able to hold herself up. Dave made no effort to follow her. He was content with the knife he had just plunged into her heart. She felt weak. She walked out of the hotel room, past Kris and Steve, and down to the end of the hallway, heading for the stairwell.
��� ldquo;Jordan Jordan waitrdquo; Steve ran after her, trying to stop her. It was no use; she was buried back down inside of herself again. Not only had she relived what had happened to her, she relived what had happened to Dave.
��� She kept walking, expressionless, not even acknowledging Steversquo;s touch. ldquo;Jordan, what happened? What did he say to you?rdquo; Steve grabbed her arm and stopped her. She stopped but didnrsquo;t respond. She stared blankly at the wall ahead of her. ldquo;Jordan Answer merdquo; Steve began crying. She pulled away and kept walking, heading down the stairs. She left Steve crying in the hallway and walked out. Out of the hotel, out of their lives, out of her mind.
��� She walked until she found a pay phone. She plopped in a couple of coins and dialed a familiar number. ��� ldquo;Hello?rdquo; Jordan broke down crying as she heard Annarsquo;s voice on the other end.
��� ldquo;Anna?rdquo; She said.
��� ldquo;Yes?rdquo; Anna replied, unsure of whose voice this was. The only time Anna had heard Jordan speak was in her sleep. It was quiet and almost incomprehensible, not a full voice like Jordan had now.
��� ldquo;Itrsquo;s me. Jordan. I need to come home. Please.rdquo;
��� ldquo;Jordan, honey Are you okay? What happened?rdquo;
��� ldquo;I donrsquo;t want to talk about it. Irsquo;m in Louisville, Kentucky with my brother. I need to come home. Please Anna.rdquo;
��� ldquo;Of course, of course honey. Hold on. Let me get to the computer. Irsquo;ll see if I can get you a flight out.rdquo;
��� Anna found Jordan a flight back home. Jordan took a cab to the airport, leaving her things behind in the hotel room. She couldnrsquo;t return to the hotel, to those people. Not after what happened. Not after knowing that Dave wished she had died. She lived her whole life thinking that way, right up until she fell in love with Steve.
��� Steve. Steve had changed so much for her. He had made all of the bad things in her life go away. He had been the cure for her ailment. He had been the one person that made Jordan feel normal. And she had walked away from him. She had left him crying in a hotel hallway while she broke down and descended into chaos.
��� She boarded the plane and buckled herself in, prepared to return to Annarsquo;s and to forget all about the Tangos. She blamed Dave for how she had hurt Steve. ldquo;If he hadnrsquo;t said what he saidhellip;rdquo; she thought as the plane took off. But she stopped herself. She had thought that way once too. It was the easiest way to react to everything she had lived through.
��� If Jordan had died, Dave would never have had to know about her. If Jordan had died, Dave would have been happily ignorant to that part of his life. If Jordan had died, she wouldnrsquo;t have hurt the Tangos, or Anna, or Steve.
��� Suddenly she didnrsquo;t want to go back to Anna. She didnrsquo;t want to back to the Tangos. She wanted to run away and never come back to her life. She wanted to disappear and start a new life. She talked now, she could let people be near her now, she could sleep now.
��� ldquo;Maybe,rdquo; she thought, ldquo;I could become someone else. I could disappear into the world and be anonymous forever. I wouldnrsquo;t have to be me. I could behellip; anything.rdquo; She felt dirty. As though she had used Steve to find a cure for herself. She hadnrsquo;t really, but she still felt ashamed of herself as though she had.
��� She loved Steve. It was a genuine love. But she didnrsquo;t know if she could ever go back to him. Beyond hurting him and not knowing if he could forgive her, she was afraid. The memories of Steve and his love were now tainted, intermixed with memories of Dave. Fights, scowls, ugly words between them, and the worst sentence of all: ldquo;I wish you had toordquo;. She couldnrsquo;t think of Steve and not remember that.
��� She hated Dave. Hated him for ruining the only happiness she had found. Hated him for treating her like a child. Hated him for being him. She regretted not choking him during their last fight. She regretted putting her fist down instead of smashing it into his face. Even more, she regretted not telling him, ldquo;I wish you had too.rdquo;
��� She woke up to the jolt of the planersquo;s wheels hitting the tarmac. She looked out the window at the familiar Pocono Mountains. She smiled at the familiarity of the scenery. After the plane came to a stop, she practically jumped off of the plane.
��� She ran through the airport, tears stinging her eyes. When she got to the main entrance, she found Anna waiting for her. She ran into Annarsquo;s arms and cried. Anna held her and smoothed her hair. Jordan had never let Anna touch her this much. She could feel Anna tense in her arms. This person Anna was now holding was unfamiliar to her. This was not the same Jordan that had left her all those months ago.
��� Anna slowly led Jordan to the car. They buckled their seat belts and Anna started the ignition. Jordan had ridden in this car a thousand times, but it felt different to her now. She knew nothing would ever be the same. Too much had changed for Jordan to ever feel familiar with anything now.
��� They made their hour drive home in silence. Jordan watched the familiar scenery of I-81 pass by her. She saw the exit for the resort where she had learned to ski. She saw the familiar signs with college names, all billion and three of them. She saw the buildings in the valleys below her. None of it was the same, but she still felt better knowing that all of those people were going about their lives. It comforted her somehow.
��� When they finally got back to Annarsquo;s, Jordan walked around the yard, reacquainting herself with it. It felt like years since she had been here when it had really only been months. She walked over the acreage of the place, even venturing into the woods and following one of the streams on the property.
��� She walked around the pond, remembering how she used to sit and watch the other kids swim. She looked at the little rowboat on the shore. She imagined taking it out on the pond and laying down in it, looking up at the sky. She looked around the grounds and smiled. Jordan looked forward to a long, happy life living here again.
and jump on it, composite trapezoid, composite trapezoid rule, composite trapezoidal, composite trapezoidal rule.
